My Anniversary Present: Death, death, and more death

Last night marked the first anniversary for the Metal Gods of Ur-Hadad campaign. Let me begin by saying that gaming with +Adam Muszkiewicz, +Wayne Snyder, +Bear Wojtek, +Gabriel Perez Gallardi, +James MacGeorge, +phil spitzer, +Jason Hobbs, and (once or twice) +John Iverson has been a blast. I think we've managed to game about 50 weeks out of the last 52, which ain't a bad run.

Sadly, Bear and James were unable to join us last night. In Bear's honor, the whole game was nothing but a series of dick jokes. +Jason Hobbs' Roll20 token was a giant dildo, even. Maybe it wasn't so much a series of dick jokes as it was the Metal Gods version of The Aristocrats.

And, yes, that's Bob Saget. A perfect choice don't you think?

Anyway, we each started off with two or three level zero guys. I made mine with the alternate level zero generator I posted recently (Note: There's been an update to how the dices rolls work, to make them a bit swingier. Fun!).  I ended up with a Brewer who spent time as a soldier (Jeddak), a dwarven apothecary who fell in with a bad crowd (Gnarrly), and an acolyte who was the black sheep of his family (Thulan). All of them had their high and low points, but none had very many hit points. This would prove... consequential. 

Adam ran an adventure from Brave Halfling, but altered for the Metal Gods universe. I don't think he ever mentioned what it was called. In any case, it was a lot of fun.

We started at a hole in the ground, at the top of a hill. I sent the brewer/soldier and the dwarf down first. They saw A SCARY SPIDER and were hauled back up out of reach. We got down there again, in numbers, and Jeddak the brewer/soldier nailed it with a thrown hammer. For once, I was rolling like a fuckin' beast. My guys just killed and killed and killed. We were filled with the spirit of Lemm the Killmaster, I think, for it was our mission to investigate this now-desecrated temple of Lemm. 

Backstory: Lemm the Killmaster, whose aspect is the Iron Boar, Snaggletooth, is one of the Metal Gods. In our campaign, "metal" is both a thing (it can be forged into weapons whereby Man can cast off the chains of his elven oppressors--Fuck the elves!), an attitude (make it brudl), and how we find the Lost Hymns (the musical connection). The Metal Gods are incarnations of Man as pantheon. They were men, once, but now they are gods. We give them worship by being awesome, where "awesome" is defined as the sorts of things you find on finer album covers and wizard vans. It's got a lot more in common with Wizards (the movie) than with The Hobbit (the Rankin/Bass vehicle of the same era), and with the ancient times (the 1970s, or even... the early 1970s) than with the current age. Anyway...

Having trounced the spider, we began to explore the temple. Everywhere, we found evidence of great antiquity and of the foul desecration. We also found evidence of a schism among the Faithful. Lemm is patron of getting wasted, fucking, and killing things well. Also (and here's my contribution) regretting not the deeds done, but the grimness of the world which results from them. The schism broke the temple into two factions: Those focused on the fucking and getting wasted and those more interested in the stabby, smashing, rending thing. This temple was held by the fighty ones, but they'd been attacked in their stronghold by a demon, and defeated. The demon's presence had sullied the environs, making mock of Lemm's power. This could not stand. We would purify it.

Before we started tonight, Adam made very clear that no good could come of hanging back, or even of doign things in ways less than totally awesome. We needed to approach our work with gusto. We needed to make it metal. We needed make it worthy of an album cover. We were up to the task. I won't go into every encounter we had, but suffice it to say that we fucked up a bunch of skeltons, some giant bats, and a boss skeleton of some kind. 

In the end, I was down to one character. Gnarrly the dwarf had died early on, from a spider bite. He made his save versus poison, but not versus mandible damage (3 points killed him). Thulan the acoloyte got stabbed by a skeleton, I think. I don't rightly remember. My last guy, Jeddak, charged into the boss fight, screaming like a Fury, mace raised high and swinging it with both hands. He faced a skeletal being wearing jeans, leather chaps, and a jean vest. He crushed that sonofabitch into oblivion. Boss... dead. It was appropriately Metal, I think. 

Honestly, I couldn't help to try very, very hard to make every encounter as awesome as I could. I wanted that album cover! Even with one guy left, I just didn't care. So, filled with the spirit of the Killmaster, he smashed that fucker's head in. Then, even with the scavenged scale mail (AC 16), Adam rolled an 18, did 3 points of damage (I only had 2). He died, then, cut down like a dog. But that's as it should have been. It was a perfect ending for my guys. I regret nothing. For Jeddak, Thulan, and Gnarrly, I offer one of the Lost Hymns in honor of their sacrifices:

Mother earth, mother earth enfold you in her cold embrace
Sinking down, killing ground, worm crawling on your cold white face
Win or lose, nought to choose, all men are equal when their memory fades
No one knows, friends or foes, if Valhalla lies beyond the grave

You died well, boys. Good on ya. You'll get your album covers. You will.

In the end, the remaining members of the party reclaimed the Axe of Lemm and used it to resanctify His temple. A herald of Lemm descended to thank them, granting them the weapon (among other things), and bade them go forth and bring glory to His name.

All my guys died, but it couldn't have been a better session. I have just one question: Is it Thursday yet? I'm ready to go again. 

Awww, crap. I forgot. Next Thursday is Halloween. No game. *sigh*  I guess I'm gonna have to dress up like a wizard and go frighten children and their parents. All in a day's work, I suppose. The next Thursday, though, that's gonna be glorious. How could it be anything but?

Announcement: Metal Gods 'zine is coming!

As +Adam Muszkiewicz mentioned in a recent blogpost at Dispatches from Kickassistan, the Metal Gods crew will be producing a 'zine product. It will be available both in print and in PDF. The content will be focused on the Metal Gods of Ur-Hadad setting, and will give readers a chance to see how our crew does its adventuring. There will material providing background on the setting, usable gaming content, and original art.

My own contributions will be (as I recall) a new +Dungeon Crawl Classics Role Playing Game patron, and (best of all) a zero-level funnel adventure modeled on Warriors.

Except we use urchins in place of gang members.

It features two "roll all  the dice" generators as well as a special d30 table for generating special content appropriate to the Metal Gods setting: Golden Ur-Hadad, the First City of Men.

Stay tuned for more information, here and at Dispatches from Kickassistan.

Alternative Zero-level Character Generator for DCC: Updated and updated again

I have updated the Alternative Zero-level Character Generator. I had a chance, last night, to test it out with the Metal Gods crew (Adam, Gabriel, Jason, Phil, and Wayne), and we discovered that it needed a bit of tweaking and just a little more explanation of some parts of the process. This is the result.

To begin character generation:

• Start with by rolling your character attributes, using 3d6, in order.
• Your starting age is 13.
• You may be of either sex.
• Roll on the Occupation Table of your choice, or use Purple Sorcerer's excellent character generator. This roll represents your parent's (mother's or father's) profession.

 After that, you're going to go through a process of determining what has happened so far in your life, before you decided to become an adventurer. Much of this material is left to your discretion. It's there to give you some ideas about what you might have been or might have done in your life, going beyond the notion of "occupation" and getting into "biography." The idea here is that you are shaped by your past, and not merely by whatever single occupation you might have pursued before becoming an adventurer.

Along the way, you will have a change to change your attributes (by rolling for them according to the circumstances you encounter). Sometimes the results might seem counter-intuitive. For example, you might find that your character has had formal schooling, but the resulting roll against the Intelligence attribute gives you a negative modifier. How can going to school make you dumber? Think about it: How many young people go off to college only to spend their first year (or more) carousing and more or less going crazy once they are out of their parents' supervision? As a professor myself, I can only say that the answer is "not a few." It's your job as a player to determine what the results of your rolls actually mean, as they are not elaborated in the tables. They are intentionally left vague so that you have that ability.

Here is the table you'll use later, when you are told to make a roll against one or more attributes. Roll 1d7-4 for swingy rolls) or 3d6 (for stronger central tendency) each time you are asked to make a roll. The resulting modifiers should be added or subtracted from your relevant current attribute scores. None of your attributes can go below 3 or above 18. Ignore any rolls that would achieve either of those results.

Modifiers for 3d6 Roll
3 (-3)

4-5 (-2)

6-8 (-1)

9-12 (+0)

13-15 (+1)

16-17 (+2)

18 (+3)

You will roll on the following tables, using the results as inspiration for your life's story prior to becoming an adventurer. Note that some results will ask you to enter the zero-level funnel or become an adventurer. This means that your character generation process is complete:

First, you should determine your origins. From what sort of place do you come?

Where are you from? (d16)

1-5 A farm

6-8 A village

9-10 A town

11-12 A city

13-14 A wilderness area

15 A war zone

16 Nomadic (land or sea)

Then, figure out what shaped your early development.

What did you do for the first part of your life? (roll a d24)

1-8 Just like Mom/Dad: You carry on the family tradition, following in the footsteps of your mother/father. Keep your original occupation and roll once against each attribute. Hereafter, ignore any result that makes you change your occupation. Add 1d10 years to your age.

9-10 A soldier shall ye be: You are press-ganged by a high noble for a war. Change your occupation to "person-at-arms." Make rolls against Strength, Agility, Stamina. Add 1d5 years to your age.

11-12 Runaway: You run away from your home to pursue a personal ambition (pick an occupation associated with that ambition). Make rolls against Stamina, Personality, and Luck. Add 1d5 years to your age.

13-14 Black Sheep: You are driven in shame from your home because of something terrible that you did (or are reputed to have done). Make rolls against Stamina and Intelligence. Add 1d5 years to your age.

15-16 Fall in with a Bad Crowd: You become a juvenile delinquent. Choose an appropriate occupation (e.g., Urchin, Pickpocket, Burglar). Make rolls against Agility and Luck. Add 1d5 years to your age.

17-18 Student: You receive formal schooling. Make rolls against Intelligence and Luck. Add 1d5 years to your age.

19-20 Acolyte: You get religion, becoming an acolyte in a temple. Make rolls against Intelligence and Personality. Add 1d5 years to your age.

21-22 Apprentice: You are apprenticed to a master. Change your occupation to reflect your apprenticeship (e.g., blacksmith, jeweler, apothecary, etc.). Make rolls against either Intelligence and Personality/Strength and Agility/Stamina and Luck, depending on the apprenticeship. Add 1d5 years to your age.

23 Brush with destiny: You are blessed or corrupted in some manner. Roll against all attributes, modifying each as warranted, and using the results to determine what might have happened. Add 1d5 years to your age.

24 Roll twice on this table.

Then, you determine what happened after the developmental years of your life.

What happened next? (roll a d24)

1-12 Adventure awaits! You decided to become an adventurer. Make a roll against one Attribute (as determined by 1d6: Strength, Agility, Stamina, Personality, Intelligence, or Luck). Character generation is done, and you enter the zero-level funnel.

13-16 Continue on: You carry on what you were doing last time. Make the same rolls as before and add 1d10 to your age. Character generation is done, and you enter the zero-level funnel.

17-18 Curveball: You encounter a crisis event. Make rolls against Luck and one other attribute (as determined by 1d6: Strength, Agility, Stamina, Personality, Intelligence, or Luck). Add 1d5 years to your age.

19-20 A new path: You change the course of your life. Roll on the previous table, ignoring repeated results, and add 1d10 to your age.

21 Marriage: You are wed to another. Make rolls against two of Personality, Intelligence, or Luck. Add 1d10 to your age.

22 Advanced learning: You study with a master. Roll twice against two attributes of your choice. Take the higher result of each roll. Add 1d20 to your age.

23 Junkie: You become an addict. Roll twice against two attributes (as determined by 1d6). Take the less lower result of each roll. Add 1d20 to your age.

24 Turbulent life: Roll d12+12 twice on this table.

Finally, provided that you haven't already become an adventurer and entered the zero-level funnel, you should roll on this table to determine what sort of precipitating event caused you to leave your old life behind to seek a life of adventuring. Some choose it and some are forced into it by circumstance. Use your life story so far, and the result of your roll to determine the particulars. For example, prior results may have told you that your character had married. Perhaps you roll 4 on this table—Death. In that case, your spouse might have died. Alternately, you might have had a brush with death that somehow changed you and made you want to leave your comfortable life behind.

What caused you to become an adventurer? (roll a d10)

1 Famine: Make a roll against either Intelligence or Stamina. Add 1d5 to your age.

2 War: Make a roll against either Strength or Agility. Add 1d5 to your age.

3 Pestilence: Make a roll against either Stamina or Luck. Add 1d5 to your age.

4 Death: Make a roll against either Strength or Luck. Add 1d5 to your age.

5 Epiphany: Make a roll against either Intelligence or Personality. Add 1d5 to your age.

6 Dream: Make a roll against either Stamina or Personality. Add 1d5 to your age.

7 Avarice: Make a roll against either Personality or Agility. Add 1d5 to your age.

8 Boredom: Make a roll against either Intelligence or Luck. Add 1d5 to your age.

9 Serendipity: Make a roll against two attributes of your choice. Add 1d5 to your age.

10 Roll twice on this table.

Now it's time to do some adventuring. Take these characters out into the world. Most of them will die, certainly, but those who survive may make names for themselves, or get stinking rich, or become insanely powerful. But that's another story. It's up to you to tell that story.

Ideas about Alternative Zero-level Character Generation for DCC

So, I was was thinking about something +Adam Muszkiewicz and I were discussing a while back: The character creation process for the original Traveler system. Stuff happened to your prior to your life as an adventurer. I'd like to do something similar for DCC. Here are the bones of it.

• Start with 3 character attributes at 10 and three at 11, distributed however you want them.
• You begin at an age of 13.
• You may be of either sex.
• Roll on the Occupation Table of your choice, or use Purple Sorcerer's excellent character generator. This roll represents your parent's (pick one) profession. 

After that, you're going to go through a process of determining what has happened so far in your life, before you decided to become an adventurer. Along the way, you will have a change to change your attributes (by rolling for them according to the circumstances you encounter) and using the following results. Note: This is also the table you'll use later, when you are told to make a roll against one or more attributes. None of your attributes can go below 3 or above 18. Ignore any rolls that would achieve either of those results.

3 (-3)
4-5 (-2)
6-8 (-1)
9-12 (+0)
13-15 (+1)
16-17 (+2)
18 (+3)

Then, roll on the following tables, using the results as inspiration for your life's story prior to becoming an adventurer:

Where are you from? (d16)

• 1-5 A farm
• 6-8 A village
• 9-10 A town
• 11-12 A city
• 13-14 A wilderness area
• 15 A war zone
• 16 Nomadic

What did you do for the first part of your life? (roll a d24)

• 1-8 You carry on the family tradition, following in the footsteps of your mother/father (roll once against each attribute). Hereafter, ignore any result that makes you change your occupation. Add 1d10 years to your age.
• 9-10 You are press-ganged by a high noble for a war. Change your occupation to "person-at-arms." Make rolls against Strength, Agility, Stamina. Add 1d5 years to your age.
• 11-12 You run away from your home to pursue a personal ambition (pick an occupation associated with that ambition). Make rolls against Stamina, Personality, and Luck. Add 1d5 years to your age.
• 13-14 You are driven in shame from your home because of something terrible that you did (or are reputed to have done). Make rolls against Stamina and Intelligence. Add 1d5 years to your age.
• 15-16 You become a juvenile delinquent. Make rolls against Agility and Luck. Add 1d5 years to your age.
• 17-18 You receive formal schooling. Make rolls against Intelligence and Luck.Add 1d5 years to your age.
• 19-20 You get religion. Make rolls against Intelligence and Personality. Add 1d5 years to your age.
• 21-22 Apprenticeship. Make rolls against either Intelligence and Personality/Strength and Agility/Stamina and Luck. Add 1d5 years to your age.
• 23 You are blessed or corrupted in some manner. Roll against all attributes, modifying each as warranted.  Add 1d5 years to your age.
• 24 Roll twice on this table.

What happened next? (roll a d24)

• 1-12 You decided to become an adventurer. Make a roll against one Attribute (as determined by 1d6) Enter zero-level funnel.
• 13-16 You carry on what you were doing last time. Make the same rolls as before and add 1d10 to your age, and enter zero-level funnel.
• 17-18 You encounter a crisis event. Make rolls against Luck and one other attribute (as determined by 1d6).  Add 1d5 years to your age.
• 19-20 You change the course of your life. Roll on the previous table, ignoring repeated results, and add 1d10 to your age.
• 21 You marry. Make rolls against two of Personality, Intelligence, or Luck. Add 1d10 to your age.
• 22 You study with a master. Roll twice against two attributes of your choice. Take the higher result of each roll. Add 1d20 to your age.
• 23 You become an addict. Roll twice against two attributes (as determined by 1d6). Take the less lower result of each roll. Add 1d20 to your age.
• 24 Roll d12+12 twice on this table.

What caused you to become an adventurer? (roll a d10)

• 1 Famine: Make a roll against either Intelligence or Stamina. Add 1d5 to your age.
• 2 War: Make a roll against either Strength or Agility. Add 1d5 to your age.
• 3 Pestilence: Make a roll against either Stamina or Luck. Add 1d5 to your age.
• 4 Death: Make a roll against either Strength or Luck. Add 1d5 to your age.
• 5 Epiphany: Make a roll against either Intelligence or Personality. Add 1d5 to your age.
• 6 Dream: Make a roll against either Stamina or Personality. Add 1d5 to your age.
• 7 Avarice: Make a roll against either Personality or Agility. Add 1d5 to your age.
• 8  Boredom: Make a roll against either Intelligence or Luck. Add 1d5 to your age.
• 9 Serendipity: Make a roll against two attributes of your choice. Add 1d5 to your age.
• 10 Roll twice on this table.

Some New Reads

I won't have a playthrough to post for a while, as I'm working on a couple of gaming projects. More or less, the stuff I normally would be posting is under wraps for the time being, until such time as we can do the Big Reveal. +Adam Muszkiewicz and I will have something to roll out in the next couple of weeks on that score, and I will have something else to post after that. Not sure how long after.

In the meantime, I've been reading some stuff that's got my gaming juices flowing. Some of it came from my boy, +Wayne Snyder, who sent me lovely GenCon swag, and included a few Kane novels by Karl Edward Wagner. If you haven't read Kane, you probably should. You may have heard of him before? Killed his brother? Cursed by God to wander the Earth forever? Yeah, that guy. He's not very nice, in fact he's downright evil, but in many ways he's a lot better than the bastards he's fighting.

I also got some new books, by new authors.

First up, we have The Grim Company by Luke Scull, an author with which I was not familiar. With this first offering, we get a pretty standard fantasy world. Fearsome northmen, corrupt and all-powerful mages, and all that sort of thing. What's best about it, I think, is how Scull puts together his protagonists from dribs and drabs of faulty humanity: Aging warriors who are definitely "too old for this shit," but nonetheless do their best, cocky self-described "hero" types who are destined for fame, and all kinds of crazy ass wizards who are incredibly powerful, each ruling his or her own kingdom in his or her uniquely fucked up way. Better yet, magic is a limited commodity. They mine it from the corpses of dead gods (who these mages killed in the Godswar, way back when). Put it all together, and it's a fun read. Recommended.

Next, we have Throne of the Crescent Moon by Saladin Ahmed. This is a lovely, lovely book, set in a corrupt, fantasy Middle-Eastern city. Given my interest in such things, what with the whole Metal Gods of Ur-Hadad thing, it fit like a comfortable old shoe. This novel is about an aging man, a trained ghul-hunter of an ancient (but fading) order. He's partnered up with a young and devout Dervish, and find themselves in the company of a young tribeswoman who can take the shape of a lioness. They face off against the rise of a terrible evil, a ghul-maker who seeks to harness the power of an ancient throne. This is pretty standard fantasy fare, I suppose, but Ahmed does an excellent job in building characters, and I found myself wishing it was a longer book. I really liked these guys a lot and wanted to see what happened next. Oh, and the good guy gets the girl in the end, which is also nice. Again, recommended.

In comparing the two books, I'd probably give them similar marks. Scull's work has more weirdness, but Ahmed's reads more like a fairy tale, if you know what I mean. Neither is quite what you'd expect, in the end, and neither author is afraid to kill off people.

By the way, I get a lot of this stuff though my membership at SFBC.com, which keeps me supplied with books. I kind of prefer the bookclub editions because they tend to package trilogies and series into a single, omnibus edition. This saves me shelf space and also ensures that I don't have to track down copies of single books. Much easier that way (Disclaimer: Edgar is not a spokesperson for SFBC.com, nor has he accepted any gratuity from them. He just likes buying books.)

MGoU-H: Jewels of the Carnifex; Session 3

When last we left the Divine Order of the Purple Tentacle, our heroes were caught between a rock (3 of them actually: The Jewels of the Carnifex), and a hard place (the Swords of the Pious, led by Mr. Majestic). Kormaki Lemmisson, 3^rd (!) level cleric (who has turned to the forces of Chaos) recounts what happened.

***

Yep, we were deep in the crypt, and things weren't looking so good for us. Damned Swords of the Pious wanted us to bust up the Jewels, but Denny Smeds had his eyes on 'em, his avarice running high, and we had just determined that the Swords of the Pious do not care much for the Jewels, as they emit some sort of Protection from Lawful aura. So, we could probably use them later. The way they're positioned, though… obvious trap. We'd have to work out how to grab 'em.

We also probably would need that big-ass two-handed sword that the Swords of the Pious had taken from the altar room. It might come in handy later, depending on what went down. So how to get it? Formerly Ian the wizard has a plan. When we was just lads, we'd plundered the Crypt of the Lizard King. Formerly Ian found there a helm (now fully bonded to his skull) that belonged to the Lizard King, a mighty warrior and sailor. This puissant helm makes it easier for him to persuade people, among other things. So he decided to talk to Mr. Majestic, to convince him that we needed it to smash the Jewels. [Meta Note: Formerly Ian Persuades using Lizard King Helm ROLLS 28! Natural 20, plus Helm's +3, plus 1-time +5 bonus from the Invoke Patron thing he did at end of last session].

Sure enough, that glowing old codger coughs it up. Now we have the Sword of the Carnifex. The Sword says "Executioner's Wand"—and it's the same sword as they put in all those ritual beheading murals we found around this place. Vane's the most chaotic mother's son in the Order, so he takes the sword, at least for the moment. Formerly Ian tries to Detect Magic on the weapon, but the Metal Gods did not smile upon him. The spell was lost. Oh, well… could have been worse.

Armed now with the Sword, Denny Smeds checks out the Idol ( some kind of worm thing with rubies in its mouth and two claws) for traps. He figures out that pulling the jewels will make it bite, probably. So, we start using iron spikes to jam its articulations. The jaws were easy enough, but the claws were maybe a little less successfully jammed. Moreover, I started havin' me a VERY BAD feeling about these damned jewels. I told the guys, and (of course) they ignored my premonition. Greedy fucks, the lot of 'em. Denny said, "Okay. Let's do it. We just can't not do it, right?" However, perhaps my misgivings made the thief a bit more cautious than he woulda been. So, we don't do it immediately. I'll get back to that.

In the meantime, Vane's weapon, the mighty Whore Whammer (whose purpose is to slay Lawful beings) wants to kill the Swords of the Pious. Like really bad, it wants to. We told him to hold off for just a minute, 'til we'd figured out how we're gonna get the Jewels and skedaddle out of this place. So, we went downstairs, instead.

There were no traps on the stairway, but it ended in a flooded section of hallway, with a wax-sealed, and runed, door of some kind. We also saw some old bones lying in the water, there. My first thought was, "Nope. Ain't touchin' that door." The others kinda agreed. I figured I'd at least try to Detect Magic on it. Yeah, the Metal Gods… strongly disapproved of that. I spent the next hour chanting a hymn (Living After Midnight, which is sacred to Obhal the Steel Eagle) to get right with the guys upstairs. Sometimes I begin to wonder why I ever became a holy man. Maybe that's gotta change…

Denny Smeds has him an idea, though. With that weird whistle, he raises up those old bones. They look to be the remains of two members of the Swords of the Pious, and they have some holy symbols on chains around their necks. He raises all three of 'em, and sends 'em upstairs to get us the Jewels.

Adam the GM said, "So what's your plan here, pal?"

Phil the Player said, "I miss having a moustache to twirl evilly."

Anyway, so Denny sends the skeletons to get jewels. Two get fucked up pretty bad, losing their arms to the claw attacks. The other one is okay, because we wedged the jaws open. We get the Jewels. Big fist-sized numbers, red like blood. Denny picks up the Jewels, and puts 'em in a sack. They make him feel… WARLIKE, like he wants to make a Snuggie® out of Mr. Majestic's hide.

Then we try to figure out the runes on the sealed door (me and Former Ian and Denny): They say, "Death Bound to the Pit by the Sacrifice Of Four Noble Lives: Liaf, Bauherm, Magin & Azazel." What the hell does that mean? No fuckin' clue. Now it looks like the only way back out is through the Swords of the Pious. So, just to make it work, and to curry favor with the Metal Gods, I drop trow' and piss all over those lawful holy symbols to tell the Swords' gods to fuck off. It also helped me to fix my little disapproval problem.

Meanwhile, Grumble the dwarf is getting' a bit froggy, and hits one of the Swords of the Pious with a javelin. About that time, we decide to take Jewels upstairs. Denny keeps them in bag.  We tried to persuade him to distribute them to the rest of us, to spread the anti-Law aura. It took a while, but eventually he saw reason.

I started marshalling the troops, trying to get ourselves into a phalanx, with me and Formerly Ian in the middle, and to escape via the narrower secret passage by the stairs instead of the big, central corridor with the vines. Grumble says, "Let's maybe kill the wicker guy over there, the guy what they been worshipping."  "NO!" we say, "Let's get the fuck out of here. Formerly Ian ain't looking so good." So, we 'turtle' and move toward the secret passage.

Mr. Majestic makes a final plea for us to destroy the Jewels. We not-so-politely decline. So, it's on.

Denny sent skeletons at Mr. Majestic and his bodyguards, killing one and wounding the other, and then shoots a crossbow at Mr. Majestic, to no avail. It just bounced right off his armor. "That armor may just be worth something, once we kill the guy," I was thinking.

Grumble hurls another javelin. Nope.

Vane throws a Molotov way off line, and they easily dance back from the burning oil.

Formerly Ian casts Sleep, and somehow manages to nod off right in the middle. Fuck me! Now I gotta carry the fuckin'wizard?  [Meta Note: Natural 1. Roll of 5 indicates a Misfire. Gabriel Rolls 1. Goes to Sleep.] I try to slap him around a bit, to wake him up. It'll take a bit for him to come to his senses, but he can stumble along if I support him.

We continue to move in turtle formation.

They attack, but nobody gets hit. As they get closer to Vane, they seem to wither and steam. They … are all fucked up by Whore Wammer or maybe by the Jewel he's carrying, like turned, but with damage. Things are lookin' up at this point, but we got a whole lot of these bastards to kill, and Mr. Majestic is lookin' like a real handful.

We finally get to the hallway, and I carry the wizard. Somebody suggests using some more of that holy water we found, but we're out. We do have that other bottle with the crossed swords on it, and the pasty black gel in it. Hmm… the texture isn't that of something made for drinking… Hey! I got an idea! Smear some of that shit on the Whore Whammer, Vane! Vane smears potion from Crossed Swords bottle. The Whore Whammer is now a very dirty hammer.

Vane ATTACKS. He had an Insight, which somehow helped a miss became a hit! [Meta Note: Whore Whammer is now +3 against all enemies of the Carnifex! Denny gets a bonus too, after smearing his weapon]. It's a hard hit! Mr. Majestic's all pissed about it, like he can't believe how bad it hurt. He says, "What the fuck?" in angelic language.

Mr. Majestic attacks Vane. Two attacks!  No luck, though, because Vane's wearing the Sea Dragon scale armor of the Lizard King.

Three of the mutants attack Vane, and take damage from awesome Chaos aura given off by the Jewel he's carrying!

We get to the end of the secret passage, and Denny opens other door.  Bad guys there, lots of 'em. He closes it again. Then it's my turn.

I decide to support Vane, while he holds off Mr. Majestic and that crew of his. I cast a fire bomb at Mr. Majestic and his bodyguard, and fuck 'em up pretty badly.

The other group of enemies to the south bash the secret door in, so our guys down there need to fight. Formerly Ian casts Color Spray at Mr. Majestic's Lieutenant. [Meta Note: He burns Luck to succeed. Plus mercurial effect… Major Corruption! Formerly Ian's height changes by 1d20-10 inches.] The damned wizard stretches 10 inches taller. What the hell? Maybe he needs to rethink this whole wizard thing. He's turning into a fuckin' freak. Oh, well… I guess he's OUR freak.

Grumble the Dwarf grabs the two-handed sword (Wand of the Executioner) and fucking attacks the Lieutenant with with it. Badly. If our lives weren't on the line, I probably woulda fallen out I was laughing so hard.

Denny brandishes a Carnifex gem. Some mutant dudes get badly burned by Carnifex power. He gets to go again! Does the "turning" thing again. One more is hurt.

I'm finding myself thinking that my neutrality is holding me back. I'm tired of being such a shitty spell caster, and I've fucking had it with neutrality. Time to pick one side or the other. No more fence-sitting. The Metal Gods are a pantheon, after all, and I've got choices! I appeal to the powers of the Metal Gods of Chaos, and begin to rend my flesh with Their runes, obliterating Neutral ones already there. [Meta Note: Clerics can spellburn for things like this, in our world.] I bless Vane. Spellburned to 14 from 11.

Continued burning from my firebomb kills one more bodyguard.

Grumble got hit pretty badly by the Lieutenant.

Grumble and Vane both attack and they miss.

Formerly Ian casts Chill Touch [Meta Note: result of 24! His hands are charged with negative energy! For the next turn, the caster receives a +4 to attack rolls, and every creature the caster attacks takes an additional 2d6 damage as well as 1d4 points of Strength loss. Un-dead creatures take an additional +4 points of damage], and these guys appear to be fucked, now. He badly damages the Lieutenant.

I try to heal Grumble. Shit! Not again! [Meta Note: A "2" is in the disapproval range. Kormaki gets an immediate -1 to heal. But now must go on quest to heal crippled, etc. before that effect goes away]. Kormaki is really thinking about a change of career.

Denny attacks, and misses, but the Jewel's aura does damage.

Grumble hammers the Lieutenant. 

I pick up 2-handed sword, but suddenly realize that, as a now-Chaotic cleric, I can't use this thing. I need an axe or something.

Vane hits Mr. Majestic and socks him good.

Adam: "Tell me how you killed this guy."

Vane: "I smashed his head like a nut."

The other mutant dudes start flipping out. Some charge, but others are moving away toward statue, what we've been calling the Wicker Man.

Formerly Ian tries to Chill Touch the Lieutenant, and succeeds!  Killed that bastard by grabbing his face and reverse microwaving his brains. Other guys' morale is broken, and they start to run.

I move to support Vane. Me and Vane fail some Luck checks.

Three guys attacked. The Jewels fucked them up.

Denny attacks the other guys with firebomb.

Formerly Ian makes Luck check.

Grumble rifles the pockets of the dead dudes. Finds 14 very old silver pieces, wants to loot the rest of them.

I say we should get the fuck out here, but they want to loot Mr. Majestic. However, his corpse is decomposing quickly, and then the rest of the Pious follow suit in short order.

We (of course) go back to desecrate the Wicker Man statue, and burn it with fire.

We backtrack through the complex. The climb back up to the sewer is difficult, but we manage it. We were smart enough to tie ourselves off before climbing. We eventually get up there in the sewer pipe.

We each get a Luck point, and Kormaki reaches 3^rd level! Woo hoo!

So, now we gotta figure out what to do with the Jewels of the Carnifex. Maybe we should go visit our old pal, Amor Ba'Gish, the wizard. He knows People. The guys kinda want to keep 'em as trophies, but I think that would only serve to attract the worst kind of thieves. Also, possession of the Jewels would provide proof that we'd fucked up the Swords of the Pious, and Ur-Hadad's lawful do-gooders might not be too happy to find that out, if they manage to do so. I say we sell 'em and spend a bit more money on our compound. Hell, with what we get we might just be able to buy that whore house next door. It might also finance some more improvements to turn our house into more of a defensible compound. Things are unsettled in the First City, and we need to be ready for trouble. For now, though, I could use a drink or ten. 

MGoU-H: Jewels of the Carnifex, Session 2

The Metal Gods of Ur-Hadad campaign continued the +Harley Stroh module, "Jewels of the Carnifex" on Thursday, and this is how it went down.

When last we left our heroes, the had recently defeated three mutant-looking dudes. Tough, ugly, and now very, very dead. Here's a report from Kormaki Lemmisson, 2nd level cleric of the Metal Gods (now only 3 XP away from 3rd level).

At this point we're trying to figure out where to go. There's a door with a chain and padlock (i.e., shiny red button) and there's a room that looks like the doors have been blown off their hinges. We went the "open" route, and found a corridor full of vines with a hole in the floor. Denny Smeds, our thief, went first. He found that the vines weren't dangerous, and that the hole in the floor went down to the first level (probably?). Then he discovered something weird. The vines on the other side of the hole kind of petered out, shriveled and dead. Beyond them Denny found a room with an overturned altar with a skull motif (very Metal). It also looks like there's a hollow under where it used to stand, in the shape of possibly a two-handed sword. The sword is long gone, though. I imagine we'll need to find it at some point, to kill the Big Bad (whatever it is).

On the wall behind the altar was a mosaic to some sort of death goddess. It seemed to be projecting some kind of mad juju, and that was killing the vines. Me, being the party cleric, went to check it out. It didn't seem to shrivel me, so good. I had an inspiration that the goddess might crave blood. The wizard, Formerly Ian, cut open his finger and flicked drops onto the mosaic, which sucked them up like parched soil. Nothing else really happened, though, as a result. It's a nice mural, though, and probably pretty valuable to the right collector, so we decided to maybe steal the mural by taking the panels off the walls. My thought was that we'd go ahead and kill off the vines with it, since it seemed to be killing them somehow. However, we then discovered a hole in the wall, or rather a recessed cylinder. Inside, there was some sort of pull-ring. We'd have to reach in to grab it. Dumb idea. Who has two thumbs and wants to keep 'em? This guy! Ain't no way I'm putting my hand in there. Nobody else wanted to either.

At this point, +Adam Muszkiewicz is all but laughing at us. This is probably the first time that words like "over-cautious" or "timid" would be good descriptions of us, we who style ourselves "The Divine Order of the Purple Tentacle." I mean, shit, we've had the sacred Purple Meat, and seen Muppets and Space Bowie, and smoked mushroom wizard brain. We've killed more apes and ver-men, and lizard people and serpent kin, and whatever else, than just about anybody. We ain't scared o' shit. This time, though, we're short a fighter, and our wizard has spellburned a LOT of stamina and agility. He ain't lookin' so good, at least what you can seen under all that hair. The goat hooves are kind of nifty, though. I wouldn't mind trading my one-leg-longer-than-the-other for a nice set o' trotters like that. They're pretty fuckin' Metal, you know? Hard to sneak around on, though. Maybe Formerly Ian the Wizard will need some special shoes to quiet them down. We could call 'em "sneakers" or something like that.

Anyhow, Crag Beerbeard has himself a hell of an idea. We jimmy up a combination of arrow, string, and rope. The arrow is used to get the string in the hole, the string gets fed through the ring and the other end dragged by out. Then we attach the rope to the string and everybody gets the hell out of the room. We give it a yank. No "BOOM!" So far, so good.

When we return, the mural has parted to reveal a reliquary, and some serious magic is coming off that thing, like the "stink lines" used in comic art to show that something smells awful. It projects a sense of dread. The reliquary is covered in gold and probably weighs about 500 pounds. No carrying that thing out, but maybe there's something inside. We hope so. There's also a shawl the color of dried blood. It's also magical. I can't remember exactly what happened, or how, but the mural or the reliquary, one of the two, fucked up three of the party members who failed a save, aging them magically. Denny Smeds, the thief, went from 21 to 42 years old in a moment's time. The two dwarves Crag and Grumble were also aged, though not nearly as much. Given Denny's advanced stage of decay, we decided the shawl was a fitting reward for him. Lucky bastard. It provides some protective magics.

Then we gotta figure out who's fool enough to touch that reliquary. So we stand around with our thumbs up our asses until Crag Beerbeard brings the awesome. He passes a very difficult Will Save to make this happen, and opens it. Inside, we find some vials (one of unknown properties, three of holy water) and a magical tome encased in a cundach (yeah, we had to look up the word, too). It's a metal case for a book, and this one was locked with three separate locks. After an inspection, Denny Smeds figures that each of them has to be triggered at the same time. Not sure what'd happen if that wasn't done, but nothing good, I'd wager. We decide to pack it along. I grab the holy water, that being my province, and we leave the room.

Next stop was the room next door, the one chained and padlocked. We dithered a bit, but eventually opened it up. Inside we found a mad hermit of some kind (yeah, this is like the third or fourth mad hermit we've encountered in our time, and none of 'em has been good news). Experience dictates that we treat this bastard with a high degree of suspicion. Crazy bastard keeps inviting us to sit down and eat with him. Nope. Ain't happening. We listen to his crazy rantings for a bit, which keep circling back to some guy named Azazel or something like that, then decide that we don't want to mess with him any more. When we try to leave, he follows. Grumble tries to fool him into staying while we go and take care of some things, but he proves resistant. Crag then tries to cold-cock him with a crowbar, but fumbles. Ooops! So, Grumble picks up the slack and Mighty Deeds him with the shield bash. Poor fucker flies across the chamber and slumps to the ground unconscious. "Down goes Frazier!" as the sage once said. I took some time to deface the runes in the room, for they were an affront to me. I felt a stirring in the Void as my actions were noted by Powers Unknown. I fear them not, for I walk with Lemm the Iron Boar and Obhal the Steel Eagle as my personal saints, and the Metal Gods will guard me. We then left the room and locked it behind us. Nope. No mad hermits for the likes of us. We know better.

So up we went, the place where the three mutant-looking guys were beating the drum and also trying to kill us. Their corpses lie there still. Beyond them is a wide corridor almost filled with the roots/vines or whatever they are. I ain't a druid. I'm a city boy, so don't ask me. There's some kind of purplish-white energy roiling around in there, too, so I'm not too keen about just wading in to that mess. So, we check around the area to see what else there was to see. There were more carved murals in the rock here, and we didn't find any indications of a secret door (We were wrong about that, we'd find to our regret, later). So, the vines it was.

Denny Smeds, I have failed to mention, is in control of a skeleton. He found this whistle thing on the body of a sorcerer he'd backstabbed a while back, and he can use it to control the undead. I'm not sure how powerful it is, like if he can raise an undead army, but it seems to work. The dead don't always understand what you want 'em to do, though, so don't expect any complicated tasks from them. This, though, was just the sort of thing they're good for. We sent it into the vines. No long after, it encountered what looked to be about 7 of those mutant guys. The skeleton quickly died. Again, I mean.

Well, nothing for it but to go on through. The vines didn't appear to be dangerous, and we probably... probably could take what destroyed the skeleton. So ahead we forged. What greeted us was not promising. There were seven mutant-looking guys (regular), on larger one with a two-handed sword, and one god-like, majestic guy. That guy's gonna be trouble, we can tell. There's also this Wicker Man thing made out of vines and whatnot. We're still not sure if it's just an idol or if it's dangerous. We engaged them with firebombs and the holy water we'd found in the reliquary. These guys are clearly Lawful, and I never much cared for judgmental types. I try to maintain balance, but these guys clearly are trouble, and if a chaotic goddess's gifts can help deal with them, I'm all for it. I hope the Metal Gods understand that their humble servant is in need. The holy water clearly damaged them, including Mr. Majestic, but not nearly enough. Then, things got fucked up. Back down the hallway, some secret doors opened up. Damn, we missed 'em. Out pours about 20 more mutant guys. They'll take a while to get to us, so we'd best deal with these guys in here, especially Mr. Majestic. We also need to kill that bastard with the 2-handed sword. I got a feeling that thing will be handy, later. Roll for initiative.

Formerly Ian the Wizard went first. He bled for his magic, and spellburned 10 Strength, but only rolled a 23. Four guys went down. We killed a couple more, and wounded some, too. We also spotted a staircase, leading down. I began to marshal my brothers into a better formation. If we could use the stairway as a choke point, and get the dwarves to form a shield wall, we might be able to hold out, at least for a while. Formerly Ian Invoked the Metal Gods (they are his patron), and They heard him. We all heard the music, then, haunting strains of one of the Lost Songs filled us with the power of the Metal Gods. I then blessed Grumble the Dwarf, who was even more filled with the Power of Metal. There was, then, a bit of a kerfuffle 'twinxt the dwarves and the mutant guys, and the mutant guys suffered for it.

Meanwhile, Denny has descended the stairs a bit, and there found what we believe to the Jewels of the Carnifex, the objects (I presume) of our quest. His chaotic ass decides he might do a little "shopping," instead of helping us poor bastards with the killing. I yelled at him a bit about that, but a thief's gotta do what thieves are known for doing.

At this point, Mr. Majestic starts to speak with us inside our heads. These guys are apparently the Swords of the Pious, and came down here to desecrate this here temple. They seem to have encountered difficulties, and couldn't approach the Jewels. So... we can go down these stairs, but they can't? Nice. We may live after all. Anyway, this guy (Azazel's, his name. The guy the mad hermit was muttering about. Thinks he's some kind of god, he does) wants a favor. He thanks us for joining his group, and some crap about us helping him to complete his mission by smashing the Jewels to dust, and releasing him and his merry band of mutant-looking bastards.

Umm... hmm.... Nope. Not gonna happen. These assholes were trying to kills us just a minute ago, and now he thinks we're gonna help his sorry ass? Oh, hellllll no. If they can't come down the stairs, then they can't kill us. Smashing the Jewels would probably make that effect go away. Nope. Sorry, guys.

Still, maybe there's benefit to aiding them. Maybe the obvious escape route is not as simple as it seems. A quandary, to be sure, but not one we have time for today.

That's the story up to this point. I'll tell you more later, after it happens.

Jewels of the Carnifex, Session 1

It's been a while since I posted a play report, and some of you seem to like that sort of thing. Also, it's not really Adam's sort of gig, so I figure I might as well take a shot at it. Plus, it's a new adventure, and I'm having a lot of fun.

Last night, the Metal Gods crew started a module I've been wanting to play in for a while: +Harley Stroh's Jewels of the Carnifex. +Adam Muszkiewicz is our GM for the adventure, and warned us that it's pretty brutal: "Bring your highest level characters," he said. So we did, mostly. Then we discovered that we lacked both a thief and a wizard, and so switched a couple out. None of us is at 3rd level yet, so I'm sure we're all going to die.

The final group consisted of:

Kormaki Lemmisson (Cleric, 2nd level, but almost 3rd) played by me
Vane Barbute (Warrior, 2nd level, and used to be 3rd before a brush with a wight drained one) played by +Bear Wojtek
Formerly Ian (Wizard, 2nd level) played by +Gabriel Perez Gallardi
Denny (Thief, 2nd level) played by +Wayne Snyder
Grumble (Dwarf, 2nd level) played by +phil spitzer

+James MacGeorge was delayed by work obligations last night, but no doubt will be joining us next week, in the person of Crag Beerbeard (Dwarf, of course, 2nd level).

A couple points before we get into the meat of the matter. First, this is a 3rd level module, and nobody is even 3rd level (We're doomed). Also, our characters are a bit... beat up. Vane has died countless times, and has maybe 6 Stamina at this point. Formerly Ian is beginning to get a bit corrupted. Kormaki has 7 Luck now, down from his original 14, but up from the 5 Luck he had a while back. He's a shitty cleric, as far as spellcasting goes. I actually said last night (after rolling a natural "1" twice in a row), "Fuck this shit. I'm a warrior now." It was only 50.1% in jest.

Anyhow, Adam did a fine job of building on his civil war in Ur-Hadad storyline, where upstart elements of the former rulers (the paschas), seek to displace the current grand vizier, and bring back the old aristocracy. For all intents and purposes, this probably won't make much of a difference to the people of Ur-Hadad, most of whom live in squalor anyway. It certainly wouldn't make a difference to those who live in the areas outside the walls of the First City. Nonetheless, the Divine Order of the Purple Tentacle (our mercenary band) has done a lot to preserve the place of the Grand Vizier, and was recently successful in turning back a group of the Blood Successors, along with the abominable Kings Kong and Scoterrors with which they assaulted the 'hood in which the band's chapter house stands.

The guard captain who oversees the district was pleased, and sought to "reward" us. He told tales of how the recent fighting and upheavals have resulted in some destruction of the city, and revealed a long-lost abode of a bloody cult, a place reputed to be full of riches, but perhaps one best left forgotten.

When the party arrived on the scene, they found a set of stairs leading down into an underground section of the city (Ur-Hadad, in this case, not Punjar). Almost immediately, they encountered an obelisk topped with a skull, set in warning against trespassers. It also had been vandalized, its features chipped, and with graffiti of, oh, like maybe... dicks all over it (I'm guessing, here). We being who we are, gave zero shits about warnings. The call of riches was to strident. We pressed on down a pipe-like tunnel for a while, but the pipe ended over a deep, deep chasm. Across from us was another pipe gushing water and (one would presume) the kinds of things one finds in a sewer (e.g., turds, piss, the occasional rat and/or alligator). Below that pipe was a platform with some kind of door on it.

We tied a rope around the thief's waist and he took a running leap to reach it, burning a point of Luck to make it happen, and managed to hold on. Almost immediately, he noticed a GIANT MUTANT SPIDER! EEEEEEK! and warned us. The cleric Blessed the wizard, and was wildly successful, giving him a +4 to all rolls. The wizard tried to cast Sleep and (of course) rolled a 1. Of course. He then got hit with web and was snared. It looked like lunchtime was upon us, or at least upon Formerly Ian.

The rest of the party tried to get down to the other platform, better to deal with the foul creature. Vane nearly feel into the chasm, and would surely have died. He burned SIX points of Luck to avoid the outcome. By the end of the adventure, Vane would have only 1 point of Luck left. We will call him "Lucky." Hey, he's not dead, and should be, for this and a million other things. He's like one of those drunk people who manages to survive shit that clearly would have killed just about anyone else. And then doesn't even remember it. You know that guy? Yeah, that's Vane. Hehe.

Eventually, we managed to Sleep the spider-thing, cut off its head, and toss it in the chasm. Fuck you, spider.

The door on the platform was sealed with lead, so we covered it with flammables and lit it on fire to melt the lead. There was some Googling of various melting points and burning temps, as the party physics-lawyered the proceedings. Eventually, we got through into the area beyond. There, we found a spiral staircase leading up and a arched passage leading down some stairs. After inspecting the spiral staircase, we found a calcified humanoid body. We also determined the spiral stairs to be dangerously unstable. We went down the other stairs instead. Then we were immediately attacked by weird shadowy beings who sapped Strength and Stamina (but luckily no level-drain. Vane was pleased that was the case.) We managed to incapacitate several of them, and then killed the rest. The cleric tried turning them, and (miracle!) made an excellent roll. They ran the hell away.

We found a secret door in that chamber and three doors in the next one. The three doors seemed to represent some sort of dangerous puzzle, so we said, "Fuck it." and took the secret door. It ascended to the 2nd level. There, we were attacked again by some creepy gigantic humanoids with bags on their heads. They were up on a higher level than us, and had some cover. So, we charged them. They did us some damage, sure, but eventually Formerly Ian Slept them. Then (of course) we killed them.

We went back down the stairway without investigating that area, instead going through a doorway just to the left of the one by which we entered from the 1st level. That's where we called it a night.

Fun times! Next Thursday, we continue again.

More Books

I've been a bit remiss in getting back to the blog this week. No real excuse. I just haven't had much to say. However, I have been continuing to read some really great books at bedtime. I'd like to throw a few of them into this blog post and urge you to check them out.

First up is the Black Prism by Brent Weeks. My first exposure to Weeks' work was in the Night Angel trilogy. Also a very good read. In Black Prism, we find a world in which (like Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time) the world is centered around a collection of magic users who inhabit the Chromeria, a city on an island in an inland sea. The world, in this case, consists of seven satrapies, one of which still suffers from having rebelled, and is afflicted with a revolving governorship/cleptocracy.

Magic in this world is derived from the light of the sun, and each user is adept in one or more colors, each with its own unique properties. Somewhat like Dragon Age, magic is a corrupting force (or so it seems...) and its use results, ultimately, in the creation of "color wights," mad users who become a danger to those around them. The story itself centers on a young boy, Kip, who (we come to find) is the bastard sun of The Prism, the emperor (more or less) of the land by virtue of his ability to martial all the colors of light.

It's a very good opening book for Weeks' new series, and I'm looking forward to seeing how it progresses.

Next, a pair of books from Paolo Bacigalupi (no idea how that is pronounced, sorry), Shipbreaker and Drowned Cities. These books both take place in a not-to-distant future, where climate change has created a collapse of governments, widespread civil war, and all the trimmings that come with it. Filling the power void are large, transglobal corporations with their own agendas. For most people, life is brutal, poor, and desperate, and the poorest of the poor scavenge the wreckage of the old world to sell to these firms. Both books are told from the POV of children growing up in this environment.

Shipbreaker is about a young boy who is a scavenger along the Gulf Coast. He lives with his abusive, drug-addled father, who is a real piece of work. He has few friends and only one protector, and seems destined to be killed by his dad, or to starve once his usefulness in retrieving copper wire form narrow conduits is at an end (i.e., he's growing too large, but not large enough to be useful for heavy work). Then, something happens that allows him to take a terrible risk, and maybe to escape from his circumstances. No spoilers.

Drowned Cities is told from the POV of a young girl who lives in a small community near what used to be New Orleans. She is half-breed Chinese, which makes her an outcast. The Chinese, apparently, tried to intervene in the civil war that broke out in this area, but ultimately fled. New Orleans, it seems, was their Vietnam. Those who collaborated were brutalized and killed. Their offspring are still around, but treated like shit. In any case, she is learning to be a healer and is apprenticed to a kindly old man. Then, a band of soldiers (child-solidiers, really) show up. Everything falls apart. The rest of the tale is about her quest to survive, to save a friend, and to escape.

Both of these books are excellent, and great fodder for a post-apocalyptic RPG of some kind. They imagine what could be the most realistic dystopian future I've seen so far. Very much recommended.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane

I just finished Neil Gaiman's new novel, The Ocean at the End of the Lane, and find myself on the edge of tears. It's not a sad novel, not really, but there's something so very melancholy about it, about reflecting on the past, and the decisions people make, and the things they forget, and the other people who make them who they are.

It's not swords and sorcery, but as pure a fantasy as you might ever read, more akin to Stardust than American Gods, though it is set in the here-and-now (and the then-and-there). The Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone make appearances, and are both mundane and magical in surprising ways. Mostly, though, it's just a story about a little boy, and his brush with the infinite, with a cursory glance toward the man he's still becoming. That said, I shan't spoil it with details; I'm still working through them, myself. This is a book that has invisible pages, if you know what I mean, and I'm still looking for the word, the line, the way (with apologies to Mr. Bukowski). I love it when a book does that to me.

I recommend it to you without reservation. It's a very short book, but perfect in length, nonetheless. Mr. Martin, you could probably learn something about that from Mr. Gaiman, I think.

I've been reading a few other things, as well, and I'll be reporting on them soon.