"BUT I GOT A KRISTL BOL!," he said
An' held it to the light
So I snatched it
All away from him
An' I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I'd look like I was Deep
I said some Mumbo Jumbos then
An' told him he was goin' to sleep
I robbed his rings
An' pocket watch
An' everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around,
"The price of meat has just gone up
An' yer ol' lady has just gone down . . . "
I can just see Jack Vance's character, Cugel, when I listen to this song. And then the real guitar wizardry kicks in, and I begin to see the real source of the magic that is FZ. Indeed, Steve Vai, one of the Metal Gods studied at this master's feet, learning his craft, before ultimately setting off in search of his own fortune.
This is giving me an idea about how wizards class characters could be used to do up Bards in a brand new way. Why not instead of a staff, and instrument? Instead of gesturing and chanting and whatnot, one "plays" one's spells. Wizards "jam" with their apprentices to share the knowledge, but any particular spell is always somewhat unique to the mage who is casting it. It's never the same for anyone (Hello, Mercurial Magic!). And you can fuck it up too: Missed notes, broken strings, and so forth.
Anyhow, there's plenty of mythical literature that uses music as soemthing magical and/or musical instruments as magic items. If you create a wizard who uses music, it's sort of like a bard, but not so lame. It's like a bard who rocks... who rocks the very foundations of space and time. How about that.