Friday, December 21, 2012

The Last Day of Zappadan: Some thoughts on the "Bio-Challenged"

I've been pondering what to do for my last Zappadan post for some time now. How do you go out with a bang? So, I was on my way to have lunch with the wife, and "Zombie Woof" (off the Overnight Sensation album) comes on the stereo.

I got a great big pointed fang
Which is my Zomby Toof
My right foot's bigger than my other one is
Like a reg'lar Zomby Hoof
If I raid your dormitorium
Don't try to remain aloof . . . 
I might snatch you up screamin' through the window all nekkid
An' do it to you up on the roof
Don't mess with the ZOMBY WOOF 
I am about as evil as a Boogie Man can be! 
Tellin' you all the Zomby Troof
Here I'm is, the ZOMBY WOOF 


Then I had it: This is about the undead, or "bio-challenged," if you're being polite.  I remember from some time ago that somebody posted the "Jesus was a Lich" thing. So, what kind of things could we consider bio-challenged. Surely there's zombies, and ghouls, and ghasts, and wraiths, and wights, and ghosts, and vampires. We all know about them. Then we could look at machine enhanced corpses, like the servitors in the Warhammer 40k world.

Servo-skull

Cherub Servitor

They're always pretty cool, and really help to pull a room together when you're decorating your galaxy-spanning, post-Apocalyptic empire.

What really separates the best of the bio-challenge from the rest? Simply: Autonomy.  The best of them are able to plot and plan, to make for themselves a place in the world. They do it, not because of hunger (like zombies and ghouls) or because they are commanded (like servitors), but because they have a terrible vision for world domination.

ARRRRRGGGHHH!

That, of course, is if you assume that all of the bio-challenged are OUT TO GET YOU. I do not believe that to be the case.

In Zappa's life, he was a musician, composer, band director, political activist, performance artist, and sort of kind of an absurdist philosopher. His legacy in death is such that idiots like me have a holiday festival in his honor. Whether you admire the man or like his music, you gotta admit that it would be pretty cool if people did that for you when you died.


Like this guy. Not sure if you've ever heard of him...

What constitutes "life" after one is dead, anyway? Is it actual mobility? Is it a vision of world domination? Is it that others still do things in your name, even if those things have pretty much NOTHING to do with anything you ever asked of your followers?

I made a mistake and I sinned!

Well, I guess Zappa's "life" after death isn't really that kind of thing. It's more like an extended wake for the dead. He lives on in his work, and his fans, and of course in his only two begotten sons:

Hi, Dweezil and Ahmet!

Born of man (and woman, of course). Died a man. But his his music lives on. He left a hell of a legacy, people. This is the stone truth. Everybody knew that Frank was a musician. Everybody had respect for the man. Hell, his progeny are still spreading the word.  Listen to this shit right here:

The kid's got some chops, don't he?

Because of all things...

Music is the best!

 I bid you a peaceful Winter Solstice in the name of the Musician, the Band Director, and the Spirit of Conceptual Continuity. Happy Zappadan, people. Happy Zappadan.

Oh, and as for that other holiday, well... I suppose I could learn to like it.