Friday, December 6, 2013

Adventurers are Filthy

You know where adventurers never go? The bath houses. Never at any point in a campaign has anyone said, "You know, we haven't bathed in like 40 sessions. Maybe we should go get cleaned up at bit. It might attract monsters, or maybe cause a penalty on reaction rolls." They're filthy buggers, and probably smell like old (but freshly used) hockey pads and ass.

Frank understands that. He sympathizes. But, damn, that stank could peel the slime off the dungeon walls!

My python boot is too tight.
I couldn't get it off last night.
A week went by, 
And that was July.
I finally got it off, 
And my girlfriend cried.
You got Stinkfoot...
Your Stinkfoot put puts a hurt on my nose.
Can you rinse it off,
Do you suppose?


Thematically appropriate bonus content: Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?